I'm bummed cos this is my third week of my chemo cycle when I'm supposed to be feeling my best, and I've been feeling crap, and I think it's pretty much all from in my head but I can't shake it anyway. I just can't stop thinking about my next chemo, this friday, and even thinking about it brings back all the nausea and grossness before I've even done it again. I'm back on meds again tomorrow, even before chemo starts I'm on three different meds. I've got meds FOR my meds FOR my meds. Pills to stop the side affects of the chemo and more pills to stop the side affects of those pills and more pills to ease the side affects of those, it's insane. 
Over all, the Dr's say I'm holding up really well. No vomitting so far, blood cell counts have been perfectly on track, weight gain has been normal(mostly fluid retention apparently, phew! I'm putting on a kilo per cycle at the moment!), nose bleeds only slight, everything is running smooth and by the books physically, but emotionally I'm struggling a little. I know there's not much more to go, but the nausea particularly, and all the jabs, they just do weird horrible things to your brain. And of course the more you try to stop thinking of it the more you do think about it. 
And I'm also bummed that my journal shipment was slow, and while I was hoping they'd be here with me by now while I'm in a good week, they probably won't be delivered until next week when I'm not going to be in much of a state to be hauling them (all 40 cartons worth) into my storage area. Sigh... oh well, after friday it's only two more cycles, one more after that and it's only one to go, then I'll be finished, then radiotherapy, then by hrm... mid october? By then I should be all done and hopefully go without visiting the hospital for more than 2 weeks. 
My whole life lately has been dictated by chemo cycles and hospital visits.

Can this year be over already?